First Case of Conbola

The first case of Conbola has been diagnosed.  The effects of this are worse than ebola professional scientist doctor professors are saying.  Here is a quick guide to Conbola.  David Cameron has said Conbola is a violent and brutal disease and will launch airstrikes against it immediately, Ed Miliband wants to know if Conbola will vote for him in the election and Nick Cleggs has been knocked out so he stay out of the way.  Outside of the Uk Vladimir Putin has said he will invade Conbola to protect “Russian Speaking People”

Conway not at school today, yesterday

Conway not at school today, yesterday

Causes

  • Homework
    • Particularly English coursework
  • Recently aquired Video games
  • Not being arsed to go into school

Symptoms

  • Skiving school to avoid subjects where homework is due
  • 40 hours appearing on your Mount and Blade time of the course of 3 school days
  • 40 hours Magically appearing on your Payday 2 time of a few school day

Charlie’s story

As tomorrow is #CookieClickerAwarnessDay2013 here is a story about a poor victim of  cookie clicker.

Charlie used to be a normal person until he discovered cookie clicker but now he is in a terrible state.  He never does his homework on time and is always late for school and looks like the photo below.  This is the danger of Cookie Clicker

Elford

Treating the addiction of Cookie Clicker

I write here today to warn you about the danger that is cookie clicker.  Once you follow the link you will need to go to rehab to treat your addiction.  Your life is put on hold for Cookie clicker, everyone will leave you.  You will spend years trying to increase your CPS (cookies per second)

By all means don’t follow this link http://orteil.dashnet.org/cookieclicker/

The game is pointlessly bad and addictive it will be the biggest waste of your life. The NHS has even taken the liberty of warning the public because unfortunately in some case Cookie clicker is fatal.

“Cookie Clicker is harmful, you will neglect the need to eat and sleep, we have had at least 4629 Cookie Clicker related deaths in the past 5 days” -NHS Spokesperson

And please somebody think of think of the poor children who come across Cookie clicker unaware of its consequences.  The 19th September is World wide Cookie Clicker awareness day.  Support the hashtag on twitter to help raise awareness #CookieClickerAwarenessDay2013

Microsoft versus Apple – the real war

x console

With the release of the new generation of consoles fast approaching people are saying the console war has already been won by Sony (Except for the whole 7 people who on one take the Wii U into account).  But has Microsoft been intending to fight a war with Sony this time round?  Microsoft are focusing on competing with Apple on general entertainment. They are trying to copy Apple where Apple has done well, like integrating all of it’s devices to work together.  Unfortunately for Microsoft their X-box has became known as a games console (When the focus was on games, which was a long time ago)

Apple's iOS7 will incease the inter-connectbity go

Apple’s iOS7 will incease the inter-connectivity of Apple’s devices

The one thing apple products do well is integration.  The integration is not crudely done like Youtube, it does not look exactly the same on phone as on a mac but they both work together.  Of course Apple could integrate more to use both for a task at the same time.  Unfortunately in the case of the X box one it is done crudely.  It is the case of call in a random airstrike that does not fit in the game on your phone, which is a bit crap.  The idea seems good on the surface but in the end it is something they have not thought through properly.  However this can benefit gaming if done less crudely.  If the phone showed you tactical maps and statistics it would be  excellently implemented integration, even though it does not sound as exciting on the face of it

“You can call in an airstrike on your phone if you have 3 f******g arms” John ‘Total Biscuit’ Bain

The other thing the X-box one focuses on is the TV features which is great, if you live in America, Mexico or Canada.  Whoever this is clearly trying to compete with Apple who are also venturing into this market.  Unfortunately for Microsoft this service is not going to most of the already limited number of countries that can buy an X-box on launch.

Microsoft have tried to take the X-box in a different direction but are not doing it well.  The bad PR is enough to put most people off, including casual gamers.  It seems, just like the smart phone market currently, this is another area for Apple to dominate